Michelle Williams Is The Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Of Destiny’s Child

VH1.com:

If you own a computer, you’re probably aware of the website PoorMichelle.com. In a nutshell, some shady SOBs decided to illustrate how Michelle Williams got the short end of the Destiny’s Child stick during the band’s entire run. When Beyoncé and Kelly Rowland got to wear pants, Michelle had to wear shorts. When they could show skin, Michelle had to cover the eff up. And, in this touching meme, when K & B were delicious smoothies, poor M was a salad banished to the background.

Tragic. Michelle’s status as the third-tier DC member got us thinking about other metaphors to describe the singer. Poor Michelle asserted she is the dry lettuce among juicy fruit, but what other food metaphors exist? The possibilities are endless. And then it hit us: Michelle Williams is the oatmeal raisin cookie of Destiny’s Child. 

Hear us out, y’all. Oatmeal raisin cookies are delicious treats in their own rights. However, when matched up against a chocolate chip or peanut butter cookie, how many of you would opt for oatmeal raisin? Not many. In fact, we’re 86 percent certain that if we polled the world and asked them to choose between the three aforementioned cookies, oatmeal would come dead last. Unfortunately, the same goes for Michelle in Destiny’s Child. 

Now, oatmeal raisin cookies aren’t all bad. They’re dependable and (typically) never-changing. You always know what you’re going to get with an oatmeal raisin cookie. And Michelle is the same way: sturdy, reliable, and unwavering. She may not be the most exciting of the three, but there’s something about her sameness that’s surprisingly comforting. 

And it’s not just Michelle Williams. Plenty of beloved bands have their respective oatmeal raisin cookies. They’re perfectly fine when no other members are available, but—sadly—still the last choice. Old Faithful, tbh.